Coming off the cliffhanger—or, I guess, drowner—of the last episode, we find that Gohan has washed up on a beach and two kids are poking at what they assume is his dead body. One of them—the boy—puts his ear to Gohan’s chest and tries to surmise his health condition that way. Here’s a real tip, kid: try putting your hand in front of his gaping mouth. If no air is coming out, it means he’s very likely dead. If you feel warm air, the kid is alive so stop fucking with his sword. And, of course, if the kid eats your hand when you put it too close to his mouth, he is a Saiyan and you should run away before he decides the sun looks just enough like a full moon. Gohan, thankfully, takes the middle option. Of being alive.
This is an episode I
do remember from being a kid. I think I watched the Ocean Dub version, and I’m
not sure if there are significant differences. I mean, other than the fact that
the orphan kids don’t say outright that their parents died in a massive
tidalwave. I’m assuming that was a thing in the Ocean version anyway, God knows
how many lengths they went to so they wouldn’t have to acknowledge death. To
the point where it became a meme, these guys covered their ass. “Good thing
that was a cargo plane!” “Maybe you won’t be such a disappointment in the next
dimension!” “Too bad it was Sunday and all of the people had left the city,”
even though there were CLEARLY FUCKING PEOPLE THERE.
Ahem. Anyway. I do
remember this episode, because it’s a pretty simple and relatable premise for a
young kid watching the show. Group of kids seem to have their own little
society going, including their own protector in the form of a teenager named
Pigero. That name just makes me imagine a fusion between Piccolo and Oolong,
and the fact that I can’t visualize that both relieves and disappoints me.
So Gohan squats with
these kids for a little while, fending off against these employees from an
orphanage that want to kidnap them and make them live unpleasant lives or
something, I forget their justification for fighting them, just pretend it’s
Spongebob and the kids will be forced to read old magazines. The kids don’t
want to be captured, so there. Not even the one woman with the orphanage group
can convince these kids to come with them, and you know, it’s fucking probably
because the guys she’s working with come out with fishing nets and baseball
bats and shit, trying to beat them into submission. Jesus fucking Christ,
there’s being a social worker and then being an ANTI-social worker.
Gohan also helps the
kids rob fruit stands and eventually reveals to them that he himself is not an
orphan, which, they don’t give a fuck. He could have just told them from the
beginning, he washed up on their island, what reason do they have to believe
his parents are dead, right? They ask him what it’s like to have parents, as if
this tidalwave had happened years ago and somehow they were still alive. Hell,
who knows, maybe the show totally expects us to believe that. It all comes to a
head when the Child Police show up again and successfully capture the children,
which Pigero decides not to prevent because he suddenly remembers, oh, yeah, it
takes about 10 years for these “kid” things to become adults and he doesn’t
want to have to take care of them the rest of their lives. Well, his actual
justification is that they need real adults to take care of them, but ehhh, I
like my head-canon better.
The shining moment
that makes this episode even remotely worthwhile is when Gohan gets Pigero to
give him a ride to his mom’s house. This is the chance—he can get away from the
clutches of Piccolo and live in the comfort of his mother for the next few
months. He starts to go toward the house, but he stops. If he goes back home,
his mission to help defeat the Saiyans ends, and the likelihood of their defeat
increases. So he does something that has to fucking hurt for a small child,
even one with Saiyan blood: he walks away, with the knowledge that even if he
survives, it’ll still be months before he ever gets to see his mom again. Gohan
reunites with Piccolo in the woods, and Piccolo reminds him of his mission.
Something tells me he didn’t need that.
(2/5)
A Few Final Thoughts:
--We now enter the “daily beatings” portion of Gohan’s
training.
--The lady with the Home is voiced by Chi-Chi’s voice
actress, and if you didn’t know that, it’s because you haven’t heard her speak
because it’s literally the exact same voice. In fact, Botan from Yu Yu Hakusho is also voiced by
Chi-Chi’s voice actress, and does the same voice for all three of them. That
always trips me out, man.
--Chi-Chi once again is at home alone, thinking about Goku
and Gohan. She apparently has absolutely nothing to do without them.
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